The philosophical side of me

I am depressed on my performance in Faculty of Science courses required for my degree program for over two years now. What is exactly happiness? First I thought happiness has to do with how much “stuff” I have in my position such as my servers, my computers, the network I have, the brand Blackberry Bold 9900, etc. Then I changed my mind and thought that may be education is the key to my happiness, where I can be very successful in life with financial and social stability that comes with a degree.

I think it has more to do with friendships, personal relationships and family more than anything. However, education still plays a major role in how happy I am because it gives me something that I earned and proud of compared to just buying something. The education has two main benefits; one would be it will provide socio-economic stability and other would be it generates a lot of friends and make create strong bonds with relatives. It seems like that most people like to have family members and friends who are educated and well to do than other way around.

On the other hand, all of these conditions are just only skin deep. At the end of the day, it all matters is that who you are as a person. I mean if you are a kind heart and respective person, you can be happy any time and any day. There are people living in rural parts of the world with no access to the Internet or other modern anonymities who has fewer psychological problems. After all happiness is a state of mind. It is not how we make our physical desire satisfied, it is how me manage our feelings that counts.

I realized why bothering me right now… It is NOT anything to do with school work what so ever, but rather something different. It still has to do with the university environment. But because I like to keep my personal feelings to myself, I will not post the information on public domain like this blog. However, one thing I can tell you is that it is a bad idea to depend on others to make you feel better.