Funny Science

I didn’t write these jokes, but collect them here. I know there are millions of jokes out there, but I found these to be the funniest and best. Please not not be offended by any jokes posted here.

  • A Geologist asked his kid: “Name the three types of rocks…” the kid reply: “Classic, punk and hard!”
  • I wish I were a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves
  • It’s a good thing you’ve got evaporative cooling, cause I’m going to make you sweat
  • My love is like an exponential curve. It’s unbounded
  • That dress would look even better accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.81 m/s2
  • What do you say we use my lever to shift your center of mass?
  • Wanna couple our equations tonight?
  • Geophones are used for talking to organisms in the bedrock.
  • Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?
  • Top quark or bottom quark?
  • Why don’t we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?
  • According to Heisenberg’s Uncertanty Principle of QM, we may allready be in love right now
  • If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes
  • Our chemical reactions give way to interesting products.
  • My favourite attractive force is van del Waals force. Can you feel it? I will sit closer if you can’t.
  • “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” – Alfréd Rényi
  • Lumberjacks make good musicians because of their natural logarithms.
  • What does pie taste like? 3.1415926…
  • I hate when people text me K, I’m very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.
  • There are 10 types of people in this world. those that understand binary and those that don’t.
  • The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.

Double meaning of dirty minds…

  • feel the hot igneous intrusion
  • young one always on top, except on reverse trusting the young one must be on bottom
  • don’t mix up the master bedding with master bating
  • bed rocks
  • Imagine the laugh of the Geologist who discovered the cummintonite…
  • What did the bed say to streamline when they meet each other? Honey do you like it smooth or rough?
  • Well logging Geologists love water as a lubricant to reduce friction
  • Depth of penetration of a tight borehole is around 4-5 inches.

One thought on “Funny Science”

  1. I must be such a science nerd! I understood all of these. I especially like the derivative one. Maybe if they used that joke in class, more people would learn calculus.

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